Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
