i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
