I cockslap morals
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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