dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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