whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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