so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
