Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
