Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
