She's JV to your varsity
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
