Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
