its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
