What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
where does the pee come out of this thing
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
