I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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