I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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