I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
