youre lurking in front of me
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
