sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
