i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
