It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
