I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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