mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
These tits shall not be calmed
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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