Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
This house was built for laser tag.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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