I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Your tits are I can't wait for
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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