At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
soo... how was my night?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
