It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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