She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
