I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
