And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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