it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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