I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
