I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
