Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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