We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
