i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
