Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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