I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I didn't notice because vodka
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
