So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
