So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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