We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
