wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
