If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
