So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
