I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize