Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
