i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
