You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
