Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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