so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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