youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
