Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
