I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
The ass gains better be worth it
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