First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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