if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
