I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
