Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
