I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
