I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
