you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize