Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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