why didn't you poke me back
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
