I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
