he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
