my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
