just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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