he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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