it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
