Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
