she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize