Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
