I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
wanna go halves on a baby?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
