He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Randomize
