We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
