so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
