Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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