Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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