When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
