is wine microwaveable?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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