eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
