I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
