i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize