I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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