You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
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