Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
