I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize