Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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